LOVE IS BLIND WHAHAHAHAHA

suddenly i realised the irony of things wahahahaha

thank you facebook for enlightening me.....

i was blinded!!!!!! not as in daredevil kinda way(that made him more aware).....but.......can't find it anymore..

i neglected so many things that could have catapulted my life further...was thinking of the could haves, and have beens if i had grasped onto all the other opportunities and realised just how deep my obsession was at that point of time...

life is really like Choose Your Own Adventure....there are so many options at any given time, that you should explore the other options..and not be clouded by the present...

I went agianst my mantra....i was living in a fish tank the past week.......just that fear of losing puts me off in the wrong direction.......

i watched imaginarium yesteday....and the devil and dr parnasses had mortals choose between an opportunity to right their wrongs... but...some ppl always run away from it..or make the cowardly decisions..and the devil wins....

more on the 'fish tank'...... its some concept that i have about social life the past 2 years...after having heard "Wish you were here" by Pink Floyd....i've shared with many ppl before...and its hard to live it....to live life to a new perspective is basically having to baptise yourself...cleanse and rid of your old habits and processes....which cannot be done overnight......like smoking or yoga or whatever fuck, you gotta pick it up gradually...

"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl.....year after year..."

like your life is always about the ppl you already know...and you're never open to the idea that you might just meet someone new tmr....like a fish tank as compared to the oceans with unseen opportunities..

the ppl that you already know and have met today..don't matter as much as the ppl that you're going to meet tomorrow.....it sure feels like this when you're working in a bar, or at sales...where theres no point spending time convincing a customer who is overly insecure about whether to buy....in this case you might as well move on to the next customer.....its all about efficiency (time is money) and screen customers straight away... for e.g those who enter....who walks straight to whatever they are looking for..instead of browsing around.......the customer is gaming you by being hesitant....

but i guess once you start pushing yourself to be a social being, this momentum is easily built......

just the other day...i totally threw out my usual belief of developing social proof, preselection and scarcity simply because iwas too impatient and desperate....i was exactly like pixie who could not think straight when tempted with food before her face...i felt so stupid when i realised so many ways that i could have played the game...my dominance was also pathetic...yes it was strong, but i was a result of reactivity and not passive....i could have been cold as stone....warmth and friendly yet unreactive....i was pushing the vibe up(which at least was slightly helpful) and clinging on to social proof that i already had....could have just pulled in new characters into the play....

i even threw my wild card away that would have turn the tide...sigh.......

perhaps....club music is still too loud, and prevents me from thinking properly...i should club more often and develop some situational awareness there...

as shiping goes....."no one is cockblocking you....you're blocking your own cock.."

thats it today....will take a bus down to town to take a look at the fishes in the water...