Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Honest opinions about myself...
Need to constantly come clean with myself, so that i can improve to become a better person.....the worst case scenario is thinking that you're the best in the world but not having the results to prove it...
1. Still operating at extremely self-conscious mode...Too serious ALL THE TIME....my ego deserves a WALLOP to realise how puny i actually am, and that nobody actually cares about you more than yourself...as much as possible, you don't have to give a fuck about what others think...
2. not funny enough....whats funny is not the joke, but the energy and the vibe...
3. constantly trying to be cool...think about being less cool, and you become cooler...
4. i wish i was someone who could 'feel' instead of analysing every stupid detail....cos you'll know what to do, instead of trying to find out what to do...
5. too submissive to emotions......practise state control ALL THE TIME..
6. learn to make friends and have fun, instead of trying to get to know everything about somebody....its about RELATING to ppl....not GETTING TO KNOW ppl...
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Solutions?
1. Do whatever stupid thing that pops up in my mind ASAP, but may be too shy to do even in public.....That includes...singing out the song stucked in my head, dancing if i feel happy, insulting somebody even if it means hurting that person's feelings, cos if i do feel like it, he probably deserves it..
2. if someone is pumping buying temperature....must go pump along, and elevate it to greater heights....
3. wow this is hard...never talk about anything that i feel is cool about myself.......its hard to define, cos whats cool is also whats interesting...just not talk about myself then, not put myself in the picture.......e.g my music, my plans, my band, hockey, social science or which smu, alleybar or jobs, trips... ...if it ever gets there, change topic without answering the question...or drag it and make it sound ridiculous....or use the comment "That's bullshit"
4. do what the situation demands.......calibrate, and be instinctive...do not plan ahead...
5. if i get emo or jealous, two most common emotions i have.....MAke eye contact and smile to anybody immediately! and elicit a smile back!.......if jealousy brews, do soemthing selfless...like buying someone else a drink or meal......thus i'll get used to the idea of others benefitting and me losing...
6. same as 3., never ask them about their details...
1. Still operating at extremely self-conscious mode...Too serious ALL THE TIME....my ego deserves a WALLOP to realise how puny i actually am, and that nobody actually cares about you more than yourself...as much as possible, you don't have to give a fuck about what others think...
2. not funny enough....whats funny is not the joke, but the energy and the vibe...
3. constantly trying to be cool...think about being less cool, and you become cooler...
4. i wish i was someone who could 'feel' instead of analysing every stupid detail....cos you'll know what to do, instead of trying to find out what to do...
5. too submissive to emotions......practise state control ALL THE TIME..
6. learn to make friends and have fun, instead of trying to get to know everything about somebody....its about RELATING to ppl....not GETTING TO KNOW ppl...
-----------------------------
Solutions?
1. Do whatever stupid thing that pops up in my mind ASAP, but may be too shy to do even in public.....That includes...singing out the song stucked in my head, dancing if i feel happy, insulting somebody even if it means hurting that person's feelings, cos if i do feel like it, he probably deserves it..
2. if someone is pumping buying temperature....must go pump along, and elevate it to greater heights....
3. wow this is hard...never talk about anything that i feel is cool about myself.......its hard to define, cos whats cool is also whats interesting...just not talk about myself then, not put myself in the picture.......e.g my music, my plans, my band, hockey, social science or which smu, alleybar or jobs, trips... ...if it ever gets there, change topic without answering the question...or drag it and make it sound ridiculous....or use the comment "That's bullshit"
4. do what the situation demands.......calibrate, and be instinctive...do not plan ahead...
5. if i get emo or jealous, two most common emotions i have.....MAke eye contact and smile to anybody immediately! and elicit a smile back!.......if jealousy brews, do soemthing selfless...like buying someone else a drink or meal......thus i'll get used to the idea of others benefitting and me losing...
6. same as 3., never ask them about their details...
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Balls...(yet again)
wow....ppl are saying 'crazy asians' on youtube...but they don't realised how repressed asian society is.....its definitely much easier to overcome social anxiety in america than in korea.......
but to those with the guts, if you're going to do this.....you might as well start from the top, the toughest..
Step out of it!... Remember, by withstanding the torture of humiliation today, uh.....you grow balls....
the next time you enter the club, there are always times where there is not a single soul on the dance floor, while everyone is just watching......be the first one to enter and behave like a retard.....
cos this probably crossed my mind more than once....and i've done it..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WNQciDzBBk
but to those with the guts, if you're going to do this.....you might as well start from the top, the toughest..
Step out of it!... Remember, by withstanding the torture of humiliation today, uh.....you grow balls....
the next time you enter the club, there are always times where there is not a single soul on the dance floor, while everyone is just watching......be the first one to enter and behave like a retard.....
cos this probably crossed my mind more than once....and i've done it..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WNQciDzBBk
Sunday, December 27, 2009
FUCKCKCKKC
Life never gives you a second chance!!!!
And i had to shoot myself in the foot.............the 4th time this past 2 weeks?.....
Its just as i said...."i would really regret it if i didn't at least....."
And i had to shoot myself in the foot.............the 4th time this past 2 weeks?.....
Its just as i said...."i would really regret it if i didn't at least....."
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Imaginarium....
HEllo everybody!....Its saturday! That means its time for another edition of..........
i should try writing an entertaining piece this way....
Chung reminded us of a quote, lol....... "Do or do not, there is no try."
that was yoda....
I'm in a really zen-like state now, i would like to share with you my plans for the coming months, but then i no longer feel like it...
Sorry fellow readers...hock was telling me that i haven't updated my blog for a really long time....
and what do i have to offer? but the same-ole-crap......Sure i'm really satisfied with this month of december, the whole taiwan trip was a blast, and it opened up more opportunities that i was just telling another friend about....of course, when my parents heard about it, their minds are too warped to even think its possible, so they say something like, "no way, you can't do it, so expensive, not possible." with the absolute fullest of doubt, and now reaccessing my response, i got all defensive and walked into my room ignoring them.......
I may have some of the least supportive parents, but i wasn't cool either.....*slap myself*
You know what qing hao's father tells him? (his the direct heir of chan brothers' travel legacy, and that his surname) ok, no big deal rite.....but his father tells him not to be a pushover in army, and to argue back to his superiors if he thinks his right....typical example of a..... 'rich dad'....
Oh yeah, some random trivia for you guys....and i noticed that a big proportion of ah lians and ahbengs these days communicate in english....yes i was a little bitter at first.....but yeah, they don't owe it to anybody.....they can be whoever, have any identity they want as long as.........identity is just a tool anyway...
nothing to update......till the next big thing comes along...
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sigh...maybe i do want to say something.....bless all of you who are out and about to find your source...
really brief.....go watch 'hurt locker'.....'point break'....'jarhead'....'gattaca'....even 'avatar'...i might as well try to reconnect my senses right now...cos for the past week or so, i have that conversational block that i couldn't buid rapport with ppl anymore....
i wonder if anybody actually read stuff here and found it inspirational.......i guess most ppl found it stupid
i just can't live one day without some action.......i miss my army days also.....even chiong suah in the 'jungles' of lim chu kang, gave me that pathetic sense of 'masculinity'....like taming the toruk.....or being seen driving in a lamborghini(?)...its like your dick grew longer....
CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
i should try writing an entertaining piece this way....
Chung reminded us of a quote, lol....... "Do or do not, there is no try."
that was yoda....
I'm in a really zen-like state now, i would like to share with you my plans for the coming months, but then i no longer feel like it...
Sorry fellow readers...hock was telling me that i haven't updated my blog for a really long time....
and what do i have to offer? but the same-ole-crap......Sure i'm really satisfied with this month of december, the whole taiwan trip was a blast, and it opened up more opportunities that i was just telling another friend about....of course, when my parents heard about it, their minds are too warped to even think its possible, so they say something like, "no way, you can't do it, so expensive, not possible." with the absolute fullest of doubt, and now reaccessing my response, i got all defensive and walked into my room ignoring them.......
I may have some of the least supportive parents, but i wasn't cool either.....*slap myself*
You know what qing hao's father tells him? (his the direct heir of chan brothers' travel legacy, and that his surname) ok, no big deal rite.....but his father tells him not to be a pushover in army, and to argue back to his superiors if he thinks his right....typical example of a..... 'rich dad'....
Oh yeah, some random trivia for you guys....and i noticed that a big proportion of ah lians and ahbengs these days communicate in english....yes i was a little bitter at first.....but yeah, they don't owe it to anybody.....they can be whoever, have any identity they want as long as.........identity is just a tool anyway...
nothing to update......till the next big thing comes along...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sigh...maybe i do want to say something.....bless all of you who are out and about to find your source...
really brief.....go watch 'hurt locker'.....'point break'....'jarhead'....'gattaca'....even 'avatar'...i might as well try to reconnect my senses right now...cos for the past week or so, i have that conversational block that i couldn't buid rapport with ppl anymore....
i wonder if anybody actually read stuff here and found it inspirational.......i guess most ppl found it stupid
i just can't live one day without some action.......i miss my army days also.....even chiong suah in the 'jungles' of lim chu kang, gave me that pathetic sense of 'masculinity'....like taming the toruk.....or being seen driving in a lamborghini(?)...its like your dick grew longer....
CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
Monday, December 7, 2009
Avril Lavigne - Bad Reputation Offical Video
This is why ppl hate avril lavigne....
"The only reason this is a good song is because she didn't write it...." - ilovemy80sbaby (youtubber comment)
why can't she be more like hayley williams....oh Opps...
Sunday, December 6, 2009
SHOULD I STAY SHOULD I GO
i think decisions have been the hardest part.....a certain girl(or girls?..i'm a loser and a wimp..) use to tell me to be decisive many many years ago.....does this relate to how i am now?...nah not really..
wow...ppl have a hard time deciding what to do today..even realistically, its not much of a big deal...but they always say take small steps...what little effort that you invest today, play a big role in the outcome in future...
like deciding to smoke a cigarette today.....well..actually...its not even easy to get addicted...but if you do it today, theres a great possibility that it'll happen again next time.....i know its nonsensical but....statistics show that...and i'm sure all of you have heard of this...victims of rape are more likely to be raped again a second time..i guess willpower is that elusive...
then again...our lives change when you least expect it to.....look back and thinkof the habits(esp good ones) that you've kind of easily have adopted over the many months....
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the hardest part is deciding to do it..i'm reiterating this again....we all know its not easy stepping out of our comfort zone, i personally, as a person that i myself deem have stepped out of my comfort zone time and time again......Testify, that its not easy...
its easy to fall back into old habits....
i guess i haven't actually shared this with most ppl or i don't rmb the last person i told this to....i think it was many months ago...prolly 6 months or more....we all get sick and tired of hanging out with the same ppl again and again....i don't know if this happens to others....
cos archtypically, ppl lose touch with their friends only because they've found better friends.....and they've got new friends to hang out with, so they haven't got time for the old friends....'research' shows that a person can realistically have only 8 friends at any given time, that you feel really emotionally connected to....i think this research may be true, but doesn't prove anything....cos i don't see myself with having that many close friends at all...sometimes 1 or 2..most of the time none...
again i think i have a whole opinion on this....but i don't wanna waste any time....
----------------------
should i quit my job, is it more time that i need to meet my daily objectives?......or i could just work less days thus having to settle for less pocket money....
i don't need money now...doesn't mean i'll run short on my savings later....thinking of makin money thru my hobbies also...but that means having to invest some time, and scrimp on my savings for a few months(to practise) until i start getting good and it being a skill worth being paid for....
its prolly possible to work and put in extra time for that 'pipeline building' but wow.....i'm really lazy.....hope i can do it...and that time management is probably the best and most important and beneficial skill in life for you to accomplish anything else..... is to learn time management...
so i come to my conclusion, the same one.....i already came upon but was too lazy to see it thru many many weeks or possibly years of my existense....
wow...ppl have a hard time deciding what to do today..even realistically, its not much of a big deal...but they always say take small steps...what little effort that you invest today, play a big role in the outcome in future...
like deciding to smoke a cigarette today.....well..actually...its not even easy to get addicted...but if you do it today, theres a great possibility that it'll happen again next time.....i know its nonsensical but....statistics show that...and i'm sure all of you have heard of this...victims of rape are more likely to be raped again a second time..i guess willpower is that elusive...
then again...our lives change when you least expect it to.....look back and thinkof the habits(esp good ones) that you've kind of easily have adopted over the many months....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the hardest part is deciding to do it..i'm reiterating this again....we all know its not easy stepping out of our comfort zone, i personally, as a person that i myself deem have stepped out of my comfort zone time and time again......Testify, that its not easy...
its easy to fall back into old habits....
i guess i haven't actually shared this with most ppl or i don't rmb the last person i told this to....i think it was many months ago...prolly 6 months or more....we all get sick and tired of hanging out with the same ppl again and again....i don't know if this happens to others....
cos archtypically, ppl lose touch with their friends only because they've found better friends.....and they've got new friends to hang out with, so they haven't got time for the old friends....'research' shows that a person can realistically have only 8 friends at any given time, that you feel really emotionally connected to....i think this research may be true, but doesn't prove anything....cos i don't see myself with having that many close friends at all...sometimes 1 or 2..most of the time none...
again i think i have a whole opinion on this....but i don't wanna waste any time....
----------------------
should i quit my job, is it more time that i need to meet my daily objectives?......or i could just work less days thus having to settle for less pocket money....
i don't need money now...doesn't mean i'll run short on my savings later....thinking of makin money thru my hobbies also...but that means having to invest some time, and scrimp on my savings for a few months(to practise) until i start getting good and it being a skill worth being paid for....
its prolly possible to work and put in extra time for that 'pipeline building' but wow.....i'm really lazy.....hope i can do it...and that time management is probably the best and most important and beneficial skill in life for you to accomplish anything else..... is to learn time management...
so i come to my conclusion, the same one.....i already came upon but was too lazy to see it thru many many weeks or possibly years of my existense....
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