Writer's block, Recession

Starting off in a blog entry, ala stream of consciousness is never difficult to anybody... And it comes easier as you elevate yourself onto a pedestal and believe that whatever comes out from the top of your head will be gold.

I have neglected an aspect of my life that i've worked really hard for 2 years in the past to built, an inner core that exemplifies sincerity, enthusiasm, passion and flirtatiousness... Strange that as these neural pathways aren't activated as often these days, its difficult to get them fired up again.

To be your 'ideal' self, you got to live it every moment, you got to challenge and scrutinise every puny insecurity, and it starts with those that you care least about or the things that especially don't "matter".

These days, i associate myself with this boring, lifeless sympathy that doesn't have that energy beaming from the inside. And the excuses i tell myself are obvious, that i do not need a social life, for i have a girlfriend and academic success to pursue.

This is sad, its been one too many times when i just took the easy way out, hoisting me back once again into mediocrity.

Baila y Gana!: Coreo Danza Kuduro (de Frente) /TKM Argentina

Best Protoss in The World

Best gamer, best in everything in life, good in pick up too i think, according to the words and thoughts that he uses in some of first few vids that i saw a few years back.. hmmm :)

I lost my phone today

I lost my phone today, and learnt a huge lesson. I spent an hour looking for it high and low...well i bet it was more than an hour. Only that, i didn't stop to rest.... I kept going, searching...looking back to what happened earlier...i was focused and didn't stop to think more than 10 seconds about whether to give up..

But the whole time i was looking, i realised that the entire act was not an act of logic or reason. Rather, a hugely emotional one. I debated constantly, and weighing the realities of having lost the phone and whether it would make the slightest dent in my life, whether i could live without my contacts and numbers and shit.. The truth is, i can....i've lost a phone before too. But that didn't stop me from continue to search for the next half an hour. I told myself to just give up, but i couldn't, for something that i took for granted only because i've grown so attached and comfortable with having it around.

And when i finally did found it, when melissa dialed my number and it happened that someone kept it somewhere safe....my spirit was lifted. The weight in my heart was lifted...

But not so much, for the ones you love and the ones you trust. I've got no bitter feelings right now... Well, every experience is worth going through as much as it is feared. And i hope that tomorrow i will have the strength like i've always been in the past to surf right by.

The ego takes the greatest hit, only because the ego is weak. Sadly, nothing when dead is beautiful. Be open, and i hope my intellectual, physical, emotional and mental sides would come together as one to take that blow.

Good night.