EXTREME MAKEOVER COMPLETE..... XD
- Ear pierced................................................checked
- Contact lenses...........................................checked
- Hair cut..abit long again though.............checked
don't know what else i can experiment with my face anymore...hmm...maybe my nose needs a bit of restructring to make it pointy like ang moh............but nah
Expenses this month were in the 700-800 range....which is...well...bad, but considering the change i got with it......i still need my next months pay to buy my air tickets.....and i don't know if Mount Rainier is still hiring in the months of may and june.....
anyway, that was just me keeping my future in check.....i guess theres nothing much i can do....except to posthumously improve my chances......i've already broken so many barriers in the past 2 weeks, more pieces to the puzzle... and i thought i could only learn from strangers in general, but this time, so much of the experience has been from someone i was close to or rather, felt really needy towards, but willing to just risk it all in the name of experiential learning.....
the obstacles that i faced.....like 'state management'....will surely come in handy in future....i threw myself into the deep end so that i could learn to cope...
state management, jealously, thrusting my ego out into the open to be exposed to embarassment... and then dealing with that whole feeling sorry-for-myself and self-pity because my ego was punctured and knowing that its just a state of psychology that you had to revert so that you would not go down spirally..
when you have reality in check, and not your feelings..........i mean....hey....I'm so good-looking, nobody can take that away from me....its my framing against theirs...and well i might have lost a few frame games, i have won some as well...
oh a simple way is to think of faults that the hot girl has other than knowing you're attractive...
I recommend everyone to get a rebound, even though according to conventional social wisdom, is bad....but i guess it helps so much...once you enter that creepiness or neediness frame, got rejected, ego burnt.....make a rebound...it reassures your confidence about yourself....i'm hoping that it never becomes a clutch that one has to rely on....because my main objective was always to acheive social freedom and like ppl like to critisise me with "Not everybody is as liberal as you..." and i'll take that as a compliment..whaahhaha..if i rely on rebounds, then its just be the same.....validation from others to feel secure...
this got me a whole new perspective of the 'FRIEND ZONE'.......and it goes something like this..
it is composed with intent to communicate the idea to the wider audience...
This is why making guy your best friend is the worst thing you can do...
- you're just relieveing him of the pain of rejection, which well actually HELPS HIM GROW..
- giving him false hope, that he will one day get a chance..
- leaving him in catch 22...that he can never ever get out on his own unless he meets someone who is really understanding... "he will never choose to lose you, yet he can't have you"
- he will never be able to move on & meet other girls.....
this advise is not only directed at girls but guys too...cos if you focus too much on the 20-min-set-to-nowhere... you're not opening up new opportunities....
And thanks for everyone over the recent months who have checked in with me on my self-discovery bullshit.....part entertainment part enriching............i would really thank you here one by one...but i guess most would rather remain annonymous...its a curse to be associated with this psychopath...
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