Pushing the Envelop

A little affirmation/mantra that i live by that drives my mind to do some ridiculous feats...(ridiculous in the context of conventional wisdom..)....is the highly uncontainable urge that spills over and envelops my mind until it becomes too great tat i have to seek and SEE the answer before my eyes... that need sometimes turns into a monster of desperation that tugs at my heart so hard it just becomes impossible to ignore..

it isn't just about quenching some intellectual puzzling bleh&@(*&# that stems from boredom.(well partly boredom.. and having too much time in my hands)....its also in an emotional, self-actualisation kind of way..

accepting 21 years of what the world and the general consensus perceives and allowing these social boundaries that never ever really existed but was propped up within the past few 100 years out of fear...the same fear that sheeps have...the mentality that the herd is always right, but almost always usually wrong..

Yes, I'm delusional. Somehow i feel like i'm amongst the league of Copernicus and Galileo....that the hardest part is not about accepting that Earth is not a flat disk but round, and that the sun is in the middle of the solar system. But convincing the rest of the world that the centuries of conventional wisdom in its entirety not merely plain pathetic but criminally wrong.

Quoting Will Smith..... "Being realistic is the most commonly travelled road to mediocrity"....that entering a room and flipping a switch so that the lights come on is UNREALISTIC.....that folding piles of metal into a cylinder that people sit in to be flown across the oceans is UNREALISTIC.....

My hope is that while the few of us do eventually excavate the liberties from the ignorance....hopefully the rest of mankind will slowly follow suit and grow to accept what a better world this could be..........................................or NOT......then it'll just be a better world for myself..*rubbing palms*.....all you ppl stuck in your little crevices....i'll just turn lead into gold in my very own basement.. o.O

Also, a big thank you to everyone who has supported me on this ongoing journey so far...you know who you are... and really, part of the reason that keeps me going is not to disappoint all of you...feeling like its an inseperable resposibility that i have to bear to lead the group... The irony about your ego is, that it could be your greatest obstacle and also your greatest motivational force.
Well, a simple example would be this. You see the hottest prettiest girl standing before you...
A) Don't approach her, don't get rejected, your ego never gets broken....your ego protects you by thinking "Oh well, i'm still quite a cool guy....what hot girl???"
B) I gotta do this, if i don't, i'm a pussy and a loser. I'm cool and this girl will be mine, now i just have to prove it. Your ego will never allow you, most importantly YOU to view yourself as a pussy or a loser or both.

And if you geeks out there need to know about the scientific explanation for this....
Dopamine. Dopamine is the chemical compound that triggers/maintains your learning and motivational systems. It provides an emotional feedback either positively or negatively with every action that you do. It rewards you with a positive emotion when you try something out for the first time and it delivers smoothly with no hiccups, you are motivated to do it again next time. The more you do it each time, positive emotions get triggered...the more it becomes a part of you. The inverse is also true, like cracking a lame joke and nobody laughs. You stop doing it. And thats how you learn, thru right or wrong.

Then again, all that above is within the sub-conscious...blah blah..our conscious mind has to be above all that and accept failure..blah blah...not repeating the same mistakes does not mean quitting entirely.
Don't give up. We, our egos seldom realise the quantum leaps that we make during the learning process until we discover a breakthrough(sort of like an orgasm...). What i mean is that, even though you've made vast improvements, your ego remains yet-to-be validated....until you actually reap the rewards.
Its like, when you invest $2000 in a stock, even though you see it grow in value each day, you never really feel like the money is yours, like you just threw some money away... until you finally sell it 5 years later, and you have $4000... you get to finally abuse it.

I shall end here, yet another long rambling post packed with all the juicy fruity goodness!
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"I just found out theres no such thing as the real world, just a lie you've got to rise above." - John Mayer