In every situation worth fighting for, there comes a point where the inner 'sean' appears and messes up every ounce of rationality in your head. Your dominance reduces to nothing, and you allow your emotions to envelop you.....Fear grips your heart.............
or rather, mine.
Over the last few days, i realised the patterns started to evolve and the radio frequencies in my mind darts haywire. Emergency response takes over, and despite the ensuing state management and forced dominance....it just passes off as another feeble attempt to reaffirm the control....
I've met with these scenarios so often these days......ugh...the need to handle rejection, which i feel ashamed talking about.....it feels like....having the word "FAIL" in CAPS... and in bold stuck to your face and at every direction that you turn. My heart just sinks really low and all the life thats left in it dissipating into some thin black haze...
What a relief now, that i've finally snapped out of it...relieved of those evil clutches..
OK... :D and into today's business...a few things i wanna highlight, but i guess it'll pop up sporadically here and there...so bear with me...but you're alr here..so i guess you will.
Refractory periods....to express it properly, it feels a lot like when the girl has her PMS.......and everything seems to go wrong.... ok, SERIOUSLY...with emotion and attraction, positive vibes, or negative feelings, compare these, with nature, and with the refractory period that you get after a man's orgasm or like feeling satiated from a bloated meal.......what goes up must come down....no matter how hard you try to turn the wheels of anybody, after too much has been said and done, it will breakdown for awhile.....take a break whatever....because it can be ready to run again......if you look at those highly highly emotional screaming fans running after Elvis or the Beatles, as soon as the celebrities turn around and give some flying kiss or look into their eyes whatever....yep...they faint -_-" .......their buying temperature pumped so high that they eventually breakdown..LOL
so...with whatever pain/loss or like elation and ecstasy...it will not last forever....its going to swing to the other end sooner or later, then when its ready, it'll come back again...
Onto another thing which i've been wanting to write about so much these days.....
that dancing, i've been taking salsa classes recently, is a microcosmic example of the interaction between male and female....its like seeing a "love story" playing in fast-forward right before your eyes.....i won't get to much detail here cos i'm too tired....but the whole emphasis of leading a girl emotionally/physically/sexually on the dancefloor like every other situation is the same...
Everyone starts out a loser/newbie in life/dance.....
at first, i don't know what the hell i was doing and i know that the girl is a much better dancer=hot girl that you're trying to hit on(even though it doesn't even matter) and i'm just freezing on my line of thoughts or steps to take=thinking consciously of the things to say to that hot girl.....then apologizing profusely like a fucking loser for your amatuerishness=apologizing profusely like a fucking loser for your shortcomings.
I'm so guilty of the above, and i wallow in disgust.
So to do well in life or salsa,
- Make decisions but be soft(like dionne mentioned, so not to drag the girl and hurt her arm or whatever)
- be passionate and know what you want
- appreciate her and make her look good
"yeah, dude you want to be able to assert dominance and confidence in all of your affairs...and to have some sort of honesty integrity and get what you want....know what you want....and be able to go out there and get it...but to get there....man! that path is always screwed up..." - El Topo
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