Confessions of a struggling PUA

ok...i guess i haven't been honest for a very long time now... and for the first time in a very long time, i guess i'll pour it all out..

i told a friend of my in camp, that i've been recently becoming more and more public about my own life cos thats how i'm trying to destroy my insecurities by admitting to them and telling it to the whole world... but he disagrees saying that...no matter how much we reveal about ourselves, a part of us will always remain secret, that we'll never share even with our closest friends...... and that coming from someone who i've never thought was a deep person to begin with.

he says...problems keep adding up....that it is only natural to release some steam or we'll blow up..but then there are always things we hide from others...



i only have 15 mins..... guys i hope you can relate to this, and girls....if you've always wondered what is going thru the mind of males, heres a source that is as honest and from deep inside..

This weekend, i didn't do any approaches.....i was pretty smooth last weekend...it would be a long story if i gave you a glimpse of what i see of the world, but if you're interested, you can contact me.....Girls....
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My first date...

Today, after exactly 2 and a half months of doing this, i finally got my first bounce(sort of a date that happens on the spot when you bump into somebody, and the person agrees to hang out with you..) today. Out of respect, i would treat this less like a report and more on her...


She is a special in the sense that.....i've more open to going out on 'dates' and treating them as a learning experience.....

Its just girls, she has agreed to come out with me like twice...but we've never agreed on the time...it was more like placing it on the lips and then nothing flourishes out of that superficial agreement....

For the third time i bump into her, we were walking towards each other...its good when she didn't notice me, even though i called out to her..... You know how it is..when you bump into a friend on the street and both of you are walking really fast in opposite directions....they usually end as you start to say hi....... so it was a blessing in disguise when i approach her from behind by touching her elbow...


Its more difficult than usual for me to build superficial comfort with her, cos she's japanese and her english is quite broken, but i've done it twice before....and this time it was rocky as well but i managed to hold her attention long enough....

For other girls i elicit smiles and laughter or in the worst case scenario awkard silences or blow outs, but for her its always that shock/surprised look...."Woah! not again, fate has unwittingly brought us into each others paths yet again.."

I think the way i build attraction is just being honest, in the moment, slightly high energy, and confident.....its simple....esp in street game, you don't need routines...

"hi.." (forgot all the white noise that.....i don't remember what i said...most of it was gibberish, and sometimes....Emotions speak louder than words...)

she was shocked/surprised....at the same time a little resistant....i've hit on her on and off on sms, expressed my interest...but its always on/off.....sometimes i think shes not that interested, but she still msges me occcasionally out of the blue....LOL....i really don't know....

she is flaky yet warm at the same time....so i guess she's unsure?...

anyway, i did that whole walking as we talk thing unconsciously again..so it prevent ever entering that state of 'how long will this take'....

i asked her if she wants to grab something to eat....the cute thing was, she was about to give an excuse to run yet she cut herself off halfway, like "well if you're going to have your dinner, i don't mind eating together".....i don't know man...plausible deniability?

take note, that i wasn't nervous or what, but i had nothing to say up till she agrees to hang out together... We have absolutely nothing in common....different nationality, different generation(she's much older)

We went down to ion orchard.....we talked about this and that, her work, our interests, some stupid social observations that i never run out of.....

we were at this hokkaido ramen place......i don't know, i guess there is a certain degree of comfort built....that we've come to terms that she's much older and i'm much younger, and i'm not trying to be somebody i'm not even though as hard as we try to make this hanging out together as casual as possible...i talked about the childish things i like a lot....i tried to be as honest as possible...its funny, i got the ball rolling for pacing out all the awkward moments, and it helps...as we kept pacing and addressing the awkward moments.....she'll be laughing like randomly....i'll look into her eyes, and say "what is it?" and laugh......

she even paid for bulk of the meal...haha..she paid 20 while i paid 12....lol..cos its like..when its time to settle the bill in front of the counter, we're just all racing to dig from our wallets to pay....she says its ok, and i didn't pursue further...

i don't know man...i think this is going to be a 'lets just be friends'...its like i haven't tried to escalate.....and she doesn't mind spending time with me....So guys, its OK if at the end of the day you decide not to settle, we can still all be friends...

we shard the journey till city hall where we gave our goodbyes...

i didn't give her a proper sendoff/goodbye either....gotta focus on this...damn...don't know why i always seem to be in a hurry........well....

phone numbers, meeting new ppl, dates even...seem so obtainable these days....that its natural that i thread lightly.....i know i sound like a loser for saying this, esp to some guys who've already figured this part of their lives out.....but hey, right now.....statiscally, i'm in the upper quadrant, top percentile in this distribution...

Good luck all...

p.s, luke have you been rating my entries?