My conscious mind, and the unconscious. The unconscious is a willing and submissive victim to her womanly wiles, and the conscious part of me, over-analytical, taking it all in from a distance. But really, the conscious me is simply scared shit, playing it cool just to justify its inaction.
Oh fuckkkkkkkkk.. (playing trance now just to lose my negative self-talk.)
Being motivated is not really that important, its staying committed and dealing with the pressure IN THE FACE.
Not knowing when to switch from high energy and low. For now, as much as i try to get some leverage, she is wholly taking the lead.
---------------------------------------------------STOP---------------------------------------------------
Yes, fear. Yes, i hate how this has been turning out so far. BUT its now or never. No stepping away, no being submissive, time to speak like any loss of pride is so insignificant that it indicates such vast reserves that can never be expensed.
And if you ever got to read this, i'm sorry i made it such an ego-driven exercise. Shit! If only i can express sincere and tender love to win you over. But my 23-year-old self is not really mature eh. That it cannot associate beauty with appreciation but possession.
No wait. I'll try my best to make it more about you and less about me. I don't want to possess you. I don't need to be needy. True beauty should never by held in iron chains. I just want to dance. ;)
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Oh fuckkkkkkkkk.. (playing trance now just to lose my negative self-talk.)
Being motivated is not really that important, its staying committed and dealing with the pressure IN THE FACE.
Not knowing when to switch from high energy and low. For now, as much as i try to get some leverage, she is wholly taking the lead.
---------------------------------------------------STOP---------------------------------------------------
Yes, fear. Yes, i hate how this has been turning out so far. BUT its now or never. No stepping away, no being submissive, time to speak like any loss of pride is so insignificant that it indicates such vast reserves that can never be expensed.
And if you ever got to read this, i'm sorry i made it such an ego-driven exercise. Shit! If only i can express sincere and tender love to win you over. But my 23-year-old self is not really mature eh. That it cannot associate beauty with appreciation but possession.
No wait. I'll try my best to make it more about you and less about me. I don't want to possess you. I don't need to be needy. True beauty should never by held in iron chains. I just want to dance. ;)
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