I just realised this morning, this swarm of energy flowing through me once again. And for me, thats not true.. For me, it is about being out of control. Its weird, this thing about "control". Its not the word that emphasises what most peple refer it as, being calm and clear-headed, logical and analysing everything. (like i'm analysing right now..an irony to what i'm about to say.)
A man needs to live like he needs to fuck everything. How else does he live life with passion. To imbed himself in a whirlwind of chaos. He doesn't find strength in receiving, he finds strength in chasing. A life where he never stops chasing.
Its strange for me to have not recognise this before, punk music and anything that explodes with a bountiful of expression is about this mad, rule-bending, energy that comes out from him or her and never taking in energy, like a genius is mad. Are they ever in control? In control of their pursuit, but never in control of why they pursue. Never in control of their passion. Yet in society, we are expected to behave like we're suppose to be in control. Be civilized and obedient, does it mean, the rules and norms are there to prevent the herd from from ever realising each and everyone of its strive? I guess so, due to scarcity, society can't afford to endow success upon everyone.
The virtues of patience and being humble, the therapeutic qualities of going the extra mile to be selfless are merely placing a lid over the boiling kettle. That moment of madness and passion contained but building up under pressure, till it all spills out of control. Perhaps like building up an orgasm. Most can't control when it spills, would be great to be able to control when, but the real solution is to have a big load and masturbate all the time and have all sorts of orgasms, multiple orgasm. (now i'm rambling....)
I'm off to explore states of consciousness, stream of consciousness, or FLOW

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