Where do i even begin?!!!

At a time when i'm stuck in between being really too tired and lazy to want to do anything...but too awake to get to sleep.. Back from Italy feeling like i have lot of things that require my attention, lots of things on my mind, tossing and turning on the bed, maybe a hint of neediness, a hint of wanting attention from the world, yet finding it increasingly hard to express myself...even on here..

Sucks to be stuck, yet afraid to move on and indulging in this moment of limbo...

Who can i turn to? But i can only try to shut my mind.

The weather here in Singapore SUCKS... its so hot at night...i become damp and clammy, when i lock the fan's position onto me, its so windy on my face and body its too irritating. I can't turn on the aircon my nose will react and become runny....

I do not want to be mediocre, but no longer want to be famous. I'm at best, internally-referenced, yet at times, the slight insecurity makes me feel externally detached..

Needy not like i want to... yet if i hold back, i don't feel human.

Sacrifices are so hard, i want to be free and do what i want, live in the moment and move forward at a mesmerizing speed..

Yes! I've found my answer for now, but before soon, i'll come upon another invisible wall.. Struggling, facing my fears, debating my morals, pursuing my desires.

I think i need i want to be intellectually challenged, and mentally stimulated right now. Maybe read a novel to escape reality. A computer game fares poorly when it comes to stimulating the imagination.... Oooooo...feel so artsy fartsy right now.