Shiya's shit-tests and wake up calls.

i'm going to make this short, cos my posts are frickin long.

initially i was going to talk about the night i had and how it had got my mind boggled up with things of the past, and future, about myself...more and less i was emotionally vulnerable..

i was going to give my observations on every single one of you, and the things i learnt... but a new relevation occured after this, and now i wanna talk about that....

despite the negative vibe, and my stubborness boring into your minds....you guys managed to pump me into an emotional state, and i see value in that.......................what am i saying?

i'm sure it struck a chord with everyone.....the group was in need of someone to lead emotionally... no one stood up....i could have, but i was too selfish, i wasn't in the moment but constantly thinking of getting out.

i was constantly reflecting upon myself....everyone made me see a side of myself that i was struggling to get out of.

anyway, we had a talk while on the mrt on the way home....it just so happens with me all the time....i use to consciously pull ppl into an 'eliciting values' state...talking about the future and stuff.....i actually hate it....cos a few weeks ago i realised how desperate it all sounded.

it makes us look at what we don't have....what could be better...what we could be...that we miss the good things all around us.........

i hated it, after i realise that with some friends that i was talking to.....i pumped so much emotion...that ppl started telling me off...

anyway, i unconsciously led into the same topic again today......


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Life is a bunch of fleeting emotions......we are here and there all at once...swung around by a storm, seas of emotions....................................shit shit shit...

thats it and good night!