Warren Buffett on Long Term Capital Management

Two Dysfunctional Minds In My Puny Head

My conscious mind, and the unconscious. The unconscious is a willing and submissive victim to her womanly wiles, and the conscious part of me, over-analytical, taking it all in from a distance. But really, the conscious me is simply scared shit, playing it cool just to justify its inaction.

Oh fuckkkkkkkkk.. (playing trance now just to lose my negative self-talk.)

Being motivated is not really that important, its staying committed and dealing with the pressure IN THE FACE.

Not knowing when to switch from high energy and low. For now, as much as i try to get some leverage, she is wholly taking the lead.

---------------------------------------------------STOP---------------------------------------------------

Yes, fear. Yes, i hate how this has been turning out so far. BUT its now or never. No stepping away, no being submissive, time to speak like any loss of pride is so insignificant that it indicates such vast reserves that can never be expensed.

And if you ever got to read this, i'm sorry i made it such an ego-driven exercise. Shit! If only i can express sincere and tender love to win you over. But my 23-year-old self is not really mature eh. That it cannot associate beauty with appreciation but possession.

No wait. I'll try my best to make it more about you and less about me. I don't want to possess you. I don't need to be needy. True beauty should never by held in iron chains. I just want to dance. ;)

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Above & Beyond feat. Richard Bedford "Sun & Moon" (OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)

Reminisce

Taking my time to clean up my stuff in my room as usual. Found those large stack of pictures she printed of us.

I am so grateful of all the great times we had together, and i'll always remember her with respect.

:)

To articulate

I'm find myself hardly articulate these days. Mental reframes and mantras that i fervently rehearse in my head can hardly be recalled. Can't piece a sentence properly.

Even though we lie to ourselves most of the days, inside, our deepest monstrosities, our grave insecurities.

I need to constantly fight the good fight, make myself the better man, take care of the lonliness, master my crafts.

Java, Guitar, Salsa, Social confidence, Sexual confidence, Improvisation, Time Management, Exercise, Espanol, MONEY, Cleaning up, Sleeping early, Writing

Too many goals, too many fricking habits, too little organization, too little time.

Everyone else can screw it.

Somebody That I Used to Know - Walk off the Earth (Gotye - Cover)

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
I told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kinda sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make it like it never happened and that we were nothing
I don't even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough

No, you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
Guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believin it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know-oh-oh

But you didn't have cut me off
Make it like it never happened and that we were nothing (oh)
I don't even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger
and that feels so rough

(oh)

No, you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect you records
And then change your number (oh)
Guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Somebody that I used to know
Somebody (now your just somebody that I used to know)
That I used to know
Somebody that I used to know
Somebody (somebody) (now your just somebody that I used to know)
That I used to know

I used to know
That I used to know
I used to know
Somebody

L'AUBERGE ESPAGNOLE